It is eternity to know God...

It's not that I don't want be here, it is that I want to be there. I want to be back in my comfortable little lifestyle where flesh was alive and there was no death on the horizon. But death is here now. Death to my self will. Because if it were me, I would have it like Burger King every day, so I could just "have it my way".

My way would have me where my pain could be dulled by an unrealistic sense of security. Security in friends. Security in my future. Security in the KNOWN. Let me repeat, the known. I have never lived on the edge, but the mountain I have been climbing has has not gotten me to a plush valley at the top but rather the edge, the edge of the mountain, with no way down, all I can do is JUMP. Jump into the unknown, where it all looks like a black hole of fear. What if I fail? I can't see the bottom, I can't even see my hand in front of me.

And then with much trepidation I jump, and it is peace like a river that attends my way. I'm surrounded by the glory to glory. And my hand feels something. Something I've felt before. A hand, Another's hand intertwined with mine. BUT NONE OF MY FRIENDS JUMPED WITH ME. They didn't even make the climb...to the top. Who's hand is this? None other than the One who formed my hand, who invented the hand. And it "fits". My stomach no longer drops because of the free fall, rather I become content in this darkness. Because though it is unknown, He is KNOWN. I know him. I'm do not want my false security because he is all my security.

It is eternity to know God...