The Plan

Today my Grandma said to me, "Last year at this time you would have never thought that this is what you were going to be doing with your life...you have had a hard year." And she was right. Last June I was in a relationship with a man I loved and I was expecting to be getting engaged right around right now, I was going to be a wife by December 2011. That was my plan. And I loved that plan. I put my hope in that plan. I put my joy in that plan. I had a PLAN.

Tomorrow morning at 8:30 I will be boarding a plane in transit to South America (with no man). I was asked recently what my "plans" were once I got to South America, and when I planned to be back. I looked at them and I said, "7 years." Now, that is my way of saying, what ever God wills. I have no plan, other than going to serve, with undivided devotion, Jesus Christ.

I have incredibly mixed emotions. My heart aches with sadness as I leave those I love. My mom just told me that God was going to do marvelous things there, and I replied, "I know, I just don't see them yet." But when my spirit lets me see with spiritual eyes what is ahead of me, I can't help but become excited. I'm all about some adventure! I just didn't expect to be going on an adventure, especially this adventure, alone.

But I'm not alone. "I turn my back on my father, my mother, I turn my back on every other lover, and I press on, yes I press on...Because I am in love with YOU." You are safe. You are hope, you are joy, you are my future, you are romance, you are love, you never leave me. And I will gladly give up my life in this world for life in your Kingdom. "He is no fool to give up what he can not keep to gain what he can not lose." So true, Jim, so true.