My Life: Dependent on Grace

Wouldn't you think that the moment you became a missionary, that you would automatically become a saint? Heck, I thought so. Maybe it's not a missionary, maybe it is just stepping into your calling. The moment you obey that one big thing God has told you to do, you become Mother Theresa.

Well...let's be real here. That is a LIE. A big, fat, hairy lie. I'm am not a saint. I am not a hero of the faith. I am sinner. A wretched awful HUMAN FLESH, with daily fleshly desires, and an array of temptations that try to divert my head to the wide path. And, my brothers, sometimes I do tip-toe my way to the wide path.

I have had to fight harder as a missionary, than as an intern. The good fight of faith. Pressing on towards the end goal...WITHOUT giving up. Some days, I do want to give up. I do want to ring the bell, I do want to be selfish.

This morning I was planning on taking a vacation day, as I had work 2 weeks straight. I slept in. I watched Boy Meets World, and I went back to sleep, only to be awoken with a phone call to come into "serve." Oh man, did I have a choice...I could either choose to "serve", or choose to "work". Bless the Lord, he gave his grace to serve, with a joyful heart.

But these types of things happen to me all the time, physically, emotionally, and spiritually...

This is what separates the life lived for self and the spirit: CHOOSING GRACE.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me...

The sweet melody of grace plays in my ear as the theme song of my life. A song so sweet...that even Owl City can't compare. :)

Grace. So undeserved, so humbling. I'm a wretch...saved by grace. And it is only by moment to moment dependence on it, that I can not be wretched. The struggles still remain...but in that, His GRACE abounds more and more.

Of his grace, we can't find an end...but we can find in end to is our carnality, in fact, that is our calling as Christians. DEATH. It is his grace, that enables us to put to death the misdeeds of the body.

I sin...thus I need to be even more dependent on his grace. I don't have it all together...thus I must become fully dependent on his grace. The attitude of my heart is wrong...thus I crave the grace of God to change my heart.

Fully. Am I fully dependent?