Hope.

Where destiny meets reality. Where reality is sparked and hope becomes real.

The Lord God is real! We all know that, right? Yeah, I know it. I have experienced him, I have felt him. But some days, even though I can feel the Lord, I'm not experiencing how he is actively involved in my life. I just go day to day, in intimacy with the Lord, but not considering his overall activity in where my foot treads, what my eyes see, what my ears hear, and what my mouth says.

But, he is involved. More than ever, and I'm just beginning to realize it, but the full picture is blurred. I'm quick to put hope in an image that is blurred. I look at the blurred snapshot of my life, and I begin to analyze what I see, what I feel. I try to make out the figures, the faces, the places. My examination and differentiation draw a new picture. One that I made up. One that doesn't actually mirror the intricate blurred photo. In my drawing I have about 1% correct of the actual...but I respond as if it 100 percent. And then my hope is deferred to my own drawing, forgetting the photo all together and I make my drawing the hope in my life, what I want out of life. 99% of the time, when the photo is made more clear, my heart is sick. "Hope deferred, makes the heart sick." Sick over my misinterpretation and reliance on it, and sick over what I have lost that I had begun to love and had become a part of me.

I had a great conversation with my best friend on just this subject last night. She said, "Sarah, you can put you hope in the fact that the Lord is moving and is faithful in your life, and even in what you can't see, but you can't put your hope in the flesh, what you think you see. You have done that before, and you have already found out that it doesn't work." This is slightly paraphrased...but definitely the heart of what she was saying. It sank in. I got it. I don't want to repeat the failings of my past. I want to put on foot in front of the other, not take steps back.

I am in a season that I am potentially, just maybe, seeing my destiny meeting with my reality...and that is fun and exciting. But the photo of my destiny is still incredibly blurry. There can be no hope in my drawing, but there can be outstanding hope, in HIS photo.